Exposed!

Not sure why I expose myself to hurt all the time. If it happens regularly, and forms a recognizable pattern, in every relationship, every time, all the time, then it must be me. It has to be me.

Am I really such a monster? So difficult to understand, or please or love or just befriend?

I'm so afraid to say anything to anyone anymore. You never know in this world of fragile and fractured egos (including mine) who will take umbrage to what, when, where, so it's best to zip up.

But how do you build a relationship without asking, telling, sharing, saying, discussing, arguing? I guess then you don't build a relationship at all. You just get what gives you a high for as long as it does and then opt out. Simple.

Who wants to invest in a relationship nowadays anyways? Maybe all one wants is those mannequin inflatables customized to your taste. They don't respond, they're beautiful to look at, they form a sexy inanimate companion, and you can f#@& them. As many times as you want, whenever you want, however you want.

What can be better than having an orgasm?